Global Relief and Support Corporation - Extending Support for Autism
If you have found your way to this page, you are probably watching your child closely and wondering about something — a name that goes unanswered, words that were there last year and are not there now, a child who is happiest lining up toys by colour. Noticing is not diagnosing. It is simply paying attention, and paying attention is one of the most useful things a parent, grandparent, or teacher can do.
Autism is a developmental difference in how a person communicates, relates to other people, and experiences the world around them. It is common: the CDC's most recent surveillance estimate identifies autism in about 1 in 31 children. It is also lifelong, and it is not something a child does wrong or something a family causes.
This page describes patterns that are often seen in autistic children and adults. Any one of them, on its own, usually means very little — children develop at their own pace, and plenty of children who show one or two of these signs are not autistic. What matters is the overall picture over time, and whether a pattern is persistent across different places and different people.
Only a qualified professional can diagnose autism. This guide will not tell you whether your child is autistic, and it is not a checklist to score. What it can do is help you describe what you are seeing clearly enough to have a productive conversation with your pediatrician — and give you a sense of when it is worth asking sooner rather than later.
Support does not have to wait for a diagnosis. In New York, a child can be evaluated and begin receiving services while questions are still open.
Clinicians who assess autism work from the DSM-5, the diagnostic manual used in the United States. Stripped of its technical language, it asks about two broad areas. A diagnosis generally requires meaningful differences in both, present from early childhood, that affect everyday life.
How a person shares attention, feelings and meaning with others. Differences here might look like:
Behaviours, interests or routines that are repeated, narrow, or strongly preferred. This area includes:
Autistic strengths sit inside these same traits. A focused interest can become real expertise. A need for consistency can mean reliability and precision. Recognising signs is not about cataloguing deficits; it is about understanding how a person is built so the world can be set up to fit them better.
The milestones below are drawn from widely used developmental guidance, including the CDC's "Learn the Signs. Act Early." materials. They describe what most children do by a given age. A child who is not doing one of these things is not automatically autistic — but a pattern of missed social-communication milestones is a good reason to ask for a screening.
At any age: loss of skills. If a child who was babbling, using words, waving, or making eye contact stops doing those things, that is called regression, and it is a reason to contact your pediatrician promptly rather than waiting for the next well-child visit. Regression can occur in autism and in other conditions, and it always deserves a professional look.
Many autistic people experience sensory input more intensely, less intensely, or simply differently than others do. Sensory differences are part of the diagnostic criteria, and they are often what families notice first — long before anyone uses the word "autism." The same child can be over-responsive in one sense and under-responsive in another, and it can vary by day, by fatigue, and by stress level.
For strategies and a fuller explanation, see our detailed guide to sensory issues in autism.
The classic descriptions of autism were built largely from studies of young boys with clearly visible traits. That history still shapes who gets identified and who gets missed.
Autistic girls are often identified later, or not at all. Many learn to camouflage — copying the social behaviour of peers, rehearsing conversations, holding eye contact deliberately, keeping distress hidden until they get home. Their focused interests may look socially conventional (animals, books, a particular singer) and so attract less notice. Masking is exhausting, and burnout, anxiety or depression is sometimes what finally brings a girl to assessment.
Plenty of autistic people reach adulthood undiagnosed, often those who did well academically or whose difficulties were read as shyness, anxiety, or being "a bit particular." Recognition frequently comes when demands rise — university, a first job, parenthood — or when a child's assessment prompts a parent to recognise themselves. A later diagnosis is still valuable: it reframes a lifetime of experience and opens doors to accommodations and support.
Autism also co-occurs with other conditions — ADHD, anxiety, epilepsy, gastrointestinal problems, sleep difficulties and intellectual disability among them. The presence of another diagnosis does not rule autism out, and vice versa.
Families arrive at this subject carrying a great deal of misinformation. It is worth clearing some of it away.
The most common thing families tell us afterwards is that they wish they had asked sooner. Waiting to "see if it passes" costs time in the years when support does the most good. Here is a practical path.
Before the appointment, note specific examples with dates: what happened, where, and how often. "He answers to his name maybe one time in five, mostly when the TV is off" is far more useful to a clinician than "he doesn't always listen." Note anything that has been lost as well as anything that has not appeared. Phone videos of everyday moments can be genuinely helpful.
Use plain, specific words: "I am concerned about my child's development and I would like a developmental and autism-specific screening." The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends general developmental screening at 9, 18 and 30 months, and autism-specific screening at 18 and 24 months. You can request one outside those visits if you have concerns. Ask for a hearing test too — hearing loss can look like some of the signs above and should always be ruled out.
Sometimes waiting is reasonable. But if your concern persists, you are entitled to ask for a referral to a developmental pediatrician, child psychologist, child neurologist, or a specialised evaluation centre — or to seek a second opinion. Persistence is not being difficult; it is advocacy.
If your child is under age 3, you do not need a doctor's referral. A parent can contact their county's Early Intervention Program directly and request an evaluation. Evaluation is provided at no cost to families, and eligibility is based on developmental need, not on having an autism diagnosis. For a child aged 3 or older, contact your school district in writing and request an evaluation through the Committee on Preschool Special Education (CPSE) or the Committee on Special Education (CSE).
Evaluation waiting lists can be long. Speech therapy, occupational therapy and early developmental support do not require a diagnosis first and are helpful for a wide range of children. Nothing about beginning support commits you or your child to any particular conclusion.
This period is stressful for parents and for siblings. Connect with other families who have been through it — locally or online — and see our guidance on supporting siblings. You do not have to work this out alone, and GRS Corp is here to help New York families do exactly this.
Please note: This page is for information and education only. It is not a diagnostic tool, it is not medical advice, and it cannot tell you whether you or your child is autistic. Only a qualified professional — such as a developmental pediatrician, child psychologist, child psychiatrist, or neurologist — can make a diagnosis, using direct observation, developmental history and standardised assessment. If you have concerns about your child's development, speak with your pediatrician or contact your county's Early Intervention Program. If anyone is in immediate danger or crisis, call 911, or call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
Noticing something is the hardest part, and you have already done it. Whatever the answer turns out to be, the path forward is the same: get a clear picture, get an evaluation, and get the right support in place. GRS Corp supports autistic people and their families across New York State, and there is never a charge to ask us a question.